Anyone experiencing the challenge of simultaneously caring for children and aging parents is part of the “Sandwich Generation”. If this sounds familiar, please know you are not alone. You and a growing number of our population are experiencing significant anxiety and stress as you juggle schooling and activities for your kids, your own career and increased financial expectations, family dynamics, and daily caregiver duties for aging parents. Though this is a challenging time in your life, it doesn’t have to be as impossible as it may seem. Money management and estate planning are two critical elements in creating a mutually beneficial living experience for you and your loved ones. There are also some basic steps, personally and financially, that you can take to help get you through.
While this may not be the easiest time of your life, it is survivable and is a situation where you can all thrive with adequate planning. At The Knee Law Firm, Ltd we’re familiar with structuring these types of plans and work with many clients facing these same challenges. We would be happy to discuss your situation and how we might help.
While every situation is unique, when it comes to caring for an aging parent, effective planning is crucial to success. Whether you need basic information about eldercare resources and services, are looking for a local agency to provide those services, or have worries about legal documents or how to finance your parents' care needs now or in the future, the time to begin planning is today.
The American Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) and television program distributor provides an online handbook, Caring for Your Parents, that offers good preparedness strategies. These planning strategies, links, and tools are also transferable for spousal care, other elderly relatives, or caring for a loved one who is chronically or critically ill with significant ongoing needs. The PBS handbook, designed by WGBH Educational Foundation and the MIT Workplace Center, addresses a wide variety of situations and is even appropriate when considering your own needs as you age.
In terms of an aging parent, it all begins with an open and honest conversation. You might be fortunate and know your parents are well prepared for their future, but most Americans will face situations where loved ones will require additional help and resources. If your parents have a solid aging plan with proper legal documents and financial backing, know that you can access that paperwork and account information.
If there is no plan in place, take small steps to prevent overwhelming your parents, listen carefully, and be prepared for some denial. Discuss living at-home safety, bringing in outside services and caregivers into their home. Also, broach assisted living or nursing homes and if your parents' have a valid will and health care powers of attorney. Define their healthcare and living needs for the present and the future.
When locating services remember that services vary widely among states and regions. If you care for your elder parent but do not live nearby, look for resources in the state and neighborhood where your loved one lives. Be persistent; no one resource has all the answers. You may receive advice that something cannot happen when in fact, it can. Request an "Information and Referral" (I&R) specialist. These specialists have the proper training to answer a wide range of questions and connect you to services.
When establishing a care plan for your aging parents, realize that good intentions can quickly derail without legal documents in place permitting you to make decisions on their behalf. The quality of life and end-of-life care your parents receive is inextricably linked to proper legal documentation. When making plans and acquiring eldercare services, be certain to speak with an elder law attorney who can provide an overview of the aging process from a legal perspective and identify your parents' specific needs. Health care powers of attorney and living wills will enable you to make decisions based on your parents' beliefs, values, and wishes when they are no longer able to decide for themselves.
At The Knee Law Firm, Ltd., we consult with families every day on both care and legal needs of family members as the two are closely related and should be considered together. If you would like to discuss your or your loved one’s particular needs, we would be honored to speak with you.